Coping With Missing Loved Ones During The #Holidays by Karen Rose Smith






Holidays bring up tons of emotions. With childhood memories come mental pictures of those we've lost.  Holidays with them are emblazoned on our hearts and seem to flash brighter this time of year. Missing means loving.  Missing means having been loved. 


But there is the present which is an opportunity to make new memories instead of only looking back to the past.  My husband and I thought we'd be alone for Thanksgiving this year.  We even considered going to a casino for a while since it would be a nice drive about an hour away and a bit of fun.  Movie theaters were another option but they are usually crowded on the holiday.  Considering friends I knew who didn't have families in the area,  I reached out to another couple and discovered they were just going out for dinner because their family was across the country.   I invited them for dinner on Thanksgiving day.  I'm looking forward to it. 


I've found the best way to handle missing is to give to someone who needs kindness.  It can be as simple as a phone conversation or a card in the mail. It can be an invitation to dinner or sending a meal to an elderly neighbor.  

The holidays can still be sweet if we realize life changes every day.  We can't stop it. But we can appreciate each person in our life right now. 







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USA TODAY Bestselling Author Karen Rose Smith is an only child who delved into books at an early age. She learned about kindred spirits from Anne of Green Gables, solved mysteries with Nancy Drew and wished she could have been the rider on The Black Stallion. Yet even though she escaped often into story worlds, she had many aunts, uncles and cousins around her on weekends. Her sense of family and relationships began there. Maybe that's why families are a strong theme in her novels, whether mysteries or romances. Her 91st novel will be released in 2016.

Readers often ask her about her pastimes. She has herb, flowers and vegetable gardens that help her relax. In the winter, she cooks rather than gardens.  And year round she spends most of her time with her husband, as well as her four rescued cats who are her constant companions. They chase rainbows from sun catchers, reminding her life isn't all about work, awards and bestseller lists. Everyone needs that rainbow to chase.

Karen looks forward to interacting with readers. They can find her at the links below. 


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14 comments:

Patricia T on November 24, 2015 at 5:15 AM said...

Beautiful, Karen.

Jeannie D. said...

Beautiful post Karen. I lost my dear Mama this past March. This will be the first holiday since she passed. Her passing has made me look inside myself and realize just how much we should appreciate each person in our life and never take them for granted.

KRS on November 24, 2015 at 6:22 AM said...

Jeannie--I'm so sorry about your mom's passing. It takes so much time to realize how grief affects your life. With a parent, I don't think you ever heal from it and I think that's the way it's meant to be.

Brooke Bumgardner on November 24, 2015 at 6:44 AM said...

Wonderful post, Karen. Thank you for sharing this. We lost my grandma in May. Yesterday was her birthday, and Thursday will be our first Thanksgiving without her.

KRS on November 24, 2015 at 8:58 AM said...

Brooke--I'm sorry you lost your grandmother. Hopefully you'll know she's watching over you as you have your Thanksgiving.

Fish Mom on November 24, 2015 at 9:08 AM said...

Very nice thought. I asked another military mom if her and her husband wanted to come over since we would both be childless this year. They had made plans already to go away for the weekend. So it will just be me and the hubby (who is on-call all week). Happy Thanksgiving to all.

KRS on November 24, 2015 at 9:50 AM said...

Fish Mom--sometimes it's so hard to find someone to share with. I hope you enjoy your day.

Sandra Bartles on November 24, 2015 at 4:17 PM said...

Thank you Karen. I have lost several friends and family members since October 10 of this year. This blog will help me through this season.

Deborah Blake on November 24, 2015 at 7:19 PM said...

Thanksgiving was our big family holiday when I was growing up, when the extended family all gathered in my grandmother's tiny living room around card tables. But now much of my family is across the country in California, and my one sister still in New York State spends the day with her husband's family. I do miss the gathering together of family (and my grandmother), but I don't much care about the holiday otherwise. A friend and I often get together (he likes to cook the who shebang in tribute to his deceased mother, and we enjoy hanging out together), but he's out of town this year so I'm on my own.

To be honest, I don't mind at all. I don't feel lonely (with five cats, how could I?) and I have a ton of writing and jewelry making to do before going in to work long hours on Black Friday and Small Business Saturday.

Mostly I'll spend the day doing things, with the occasional breaks to talk to my family on the phone. One friend and I have arranged to Skype for a pre-dinner drink and toast to the day, and that seems like celebration enough. I have lots to be grateful for, and many fond memories of Thanksgivings past.

I hope your celebration is mellow and enjoyable. And that no kitties get into the turkey!

KRS on November 24, 2015 at 8:08 PM said...

Deborah--I wish you were close enough to come here. We're having lasagna this year! We did turkey over the weekend with my bff.

KRS on November 24, 2015 at 8:09 PM said...

Sandra--I hope it helps. I'm so sorry for your lost loved ones. The only way through it is to do whatever gets you through it. Good thoughts.

Kuzlin on November 25, 2015 at 2:24 AM said...

Thanksgiving has been a difficult holiday for me for years. My mother died on the day after Thanksgiving 25 years ago...I was 39 and my daughter was only 1 year old. Then 7 years later, my father died on the day before Thanksgiving. She was only 60 and he was 69. This holiday always reminds me of how much they have missed seeing my daughter grow up to the lovely, independent woman she has become.

rbooth43 on November 25, 2015 at 8:38 AM said...

Lost so many loved ones in my 72 years, miss them all! Enjoy life and happy Thanksgiving to all! Karen, you are an inspiration to us! Thanks!

Deborah Blake on November 25, 2015 at 9:55 AM said...

My mom got sick of making turkey one year and made what we dubbed "The traditional Thanksgiving Lasagna." (We're Jewish, not Italian, but my mom makes the best lasagna on the planet.) We've been laughing about it ever since.

I wish I was closer for lots of reasons!