Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Missing a Mom
I love holidays, and Mother's Day was always one of my favorites. My mother passed on years ago. Since then, a deep-down ache would begin the week before. Commercials and sentiments about the day didn't help. When our son moved far away, I decided to handle the holiday differently. I thought my strategy could help others.
Embrace the day.
I discovered that ignoring missing and an upsurge of grief is denial. In the end it adds to the heartache. How do I embrace the holiday now?
The week before I make a picture collage with those photographs that might be stuffed in a closet. I take the time to remember how much my mom meant to me and I to her. Or...I have a notebook of short stories my mom wrote when she was in college and some years I excavate those and learn about a younger side of her I didn't know. Or...I unpack a box in my closet where I store some of her keepsakes, like her wedding album and an account of my parents' travels on their honeymoon. The memories have become more sweet than bittersweet over the years and now I feel almost joyful as I remember.
But the best way to appreciate the day all over again is to talk to my son and spend time with others I love. We have friends with children. Visiting with them, playing games, reveling in the sunshine remind me that I'm a mom, too. I have love to spread that reaches beyond my family. I believe this is how my mom would want me to spend the day--living life to the fullest and remembering the love she gave away.
©2012 Karen Rose Smith
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